EWA Wednesday Night


The screen opens as we follow James Caine into the bulding and down the halls. Suddenly an enourmous fat man in a denim jacket, eating an apple pie steps in front of Caine, restricting his path. ::James:: Scuse me... I'm kinda in a hurry... The fat man pays him no mind as he just continues slopping apple filling all over. ::James:: YO!...Exscuse Me! Could you maybe step out of the way for a second please...? The fat man still refuses to pay a damn bit of attention and Caine is starting to get pissed. ::James:: HEY FATASS! YEA! You with the triple chin and the mullet.. MOVE! The fat man hears him now and turns to face him. The fat man is angry at the skinny man for disrupting his eating, and starts to open his mouth. ::James:: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! whoa...whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa...... whoa...... Nobody asked you to say shit mother f-BEEP-r... ::Fat Guy:: Hey......Weezing I'll ... more weezing Kick.... ::James:: What My Ass? HAH Look at you, you fat, crispy creme donut eating, mullet headed, denim jacket loving, "HELLO MY FASHION SENSE GOT LOST WITH MY PENIS IN THE EIGHTIES" apple pie stuck between your second and third chin and if you stuck a fat f-BEEP-n finger in there you might also find some F-Beep-n popeye's F-Beep-n chicken you saved from last F-Beep-n week. Takes a deep breath I mean at what point do you not realize you are a fat waste of useless space you annoying, fat F-BEEP-K! The fat man grows angrier with James every word and just as James Accents the word fuck, the fat man clutches his chest and falls over. Alex Caine is standing directly behind the dead whale and his jaw hits the ground. ::Alex:: JAMES! YOU KILLED KAIGE! WHAT THE F-Beep-K IS WRONG WITH YOU! ::James :: That's not Kaige! ::Alex:: He let himself go those couple weeks he was off.. God didn't you see the end of the PPV, or did you leave early like always? ::James:: ......thinks a second ..... like always. ::Alex:: F-BEEP-ng christ....well we're now short a Heavyweight champion so......I guess this is your fault.... ::James:: Well then I'll just hold on to his bel- ::Alex:: No...no...no...you won't.... I will until I get something to find a replacement... YOU on the other hand...are going to lose your belt...TONIGHT! ::James:: Are you sure of that? I mean I don't even know who my opponent is... ::Alex:: I do, and I swear on my own mother's life that you will lose tonight... ::James:: Whatever... I have some boots to lace, a girl to f-beep-k, and an ass to kick... Lemme know when you're done crying over the dead and useless. James Walks over the mountain of flab, and past a clearly unstable Alexander as the screen goes black. ================================================================ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Dark Match 1 - Demon destroys Casper, and severly fractures Caspers shoulder. Casper will be out for an unknown amount of time. Dark Match 2 - cancelled after all three competitors failed to show. All three members were immediately released from their contracts. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ================================================================ KNOCKOUT V 12.12.2007 Your television screen is black, and a spotlight begins to scan the darkness, passin by the EWA logo occasionally, before going completely black. Your television sit rests on this black screen only momentarily before "Halo" by SoiL begins playing as the screen begins to show clips of Morrigan, James Caine, Vic Powers, MAd Dog, Madison Divera, Die Hard, and others in action. The song fades out as the television screen fades to black and an image of your screen being punched out reveals the Knockout logo with the entry stage beneath the EWA Gi-Screen exploding in pyrotechnics behind the logo as it fades away and the camera pan to the crowds. ::Jim Coors:: HELLO EVERYONE! Welcome to Monday Night Knockout! Did I just see that? ::Peter Piper:: Yes you did. James Caine just murdered an overwhelmingly fat Kaige by insulting him. ::Laura Layne:: Ladies and gentleman, this following match is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH... It is scheduled for one fall... Introducing first, The Hardcore Hero... Jeff Jackson ::PA System:: Witness a blinding light, Sudden bright light from a blast, Pulsing radiation moving through cracks under skin, Feel the fire in the wind, Deadly kiss of scorching sands Jeff makes his way down to the ring and slides in. He taunts the crowd to a great reaction, and awaits his two opponents. ::Brian Zenn:: Hey if the fat guy can't take the heat he should stay out of the kitchen. ::Jim Coors:: Fat guys should stay away from Kitchens period... It's never a good thing when they're in there...but that wasn't really Kaige guys........right? ::Laura Layne:: Introducing next, Known as Mr. Innovation... Gavin Masterson ::PA System:: You've been fighting for much to long, You saw the future and what to come Restless spirits out on the run, among the shadows of the sun Gavin Masterson Makes his way to the ring, followed by Madison Rivera, and a massive amount of Boos. Gavin gets in the ring and taunts despite the negative reaction. ::PA System:: 1,2,3,4!!! Morrigan sprints his way to the ring to an enourmous pop from the crowd, and wastes no time in swinging on Jackson. (DINGDINGDING) ::Brian Zenn:: Morrigan is full of thunder and lightning tonight boys! Morrigan is indeed as he swings on both Jackson and Masterson now. He drops Jackson with a DDT and turns to wrap Gavin in the same, but Gavin stops his momentum with a stiff kick to the gut. Gavin then turns the tables completely around with a beatiful stall suplex. ::Peter Piper:: Well this is going to be a long night... Beer anyone? ::Jim Coors:: YE~ ::Zenn:: Slaps Piper No... None for you ::Jim Coors:: F-Beep-k You... I did the last two shows sober... Gimme a beer Pete. Morrigan stands and Masterson is about to flatten him back to the mat when Jackson does it for him by grabbing Ben's foot and pulling him from his feet, and draggin him outside the ring. Gavin doesn't approve and Launches himself at both Jackson and Morrigan who had just begun trading blows. All three men crash to the floor. ::Jim:: Takes a beer from Peter Now that's more like it. ::Zenn:: Hey since when did we start F-Beep-ng censoring F-Beep-k? What the F-Beep-k? Hey! Cut that the F-Beep-k out! ::Peter:: Takes a drink It's useless rookie... you can't fight the censors. Morrigan is the first back to his feet, and is fairly quick about it, while Masterson is the next person to his feet. Morrigan is on Gavin with a maelstorm of rights and lefts. Backing him into the corner of the ring area, before he backs away, then charges and drops Masterson with a shining wizard to the jaw. Morrigan turns and Jackson smashes him across the face with a kendo stick. ::Zenn:: Why the F-Beep-K didn't the ref see that? ::Piper:: Had you been paying attention you'd have seen that he's being distracted by Madison... RIVERA... ::Coors:: She's not in this match... Referee Menza is speaking with Rivera on the apron when suddenly Madison Divera comes barreling down the rampway at a full head of steam. Masterson is starting to recover while Morrigan counters Jacksons attepmt at a powerbomb with a frankensteiner. Morrigan actually uses the Guardrail to propel JAckson into the crowd where he lays motionless. ::Jim:: Okay...now she's in this match. Madison has indeed interrupted the match but Menza can't call for a bell because she's beating the holy hell out of Masterson's valet, Madison Rivera. Morrigan grabs Jackson and throws him back to the ring area and slides him into the ring. Masterson chases off Divera as Morrigan drops Jackson with a cut throat death valley driver and covers. 1... 2... 3! (DINGDINGDING) ::Zenn:: Holy Friggin ice cream poopsicles....HAH! Can't censor that can -Beep-! Hey! What -Beep- -Beep- -Beep- doing? ::Piper:: Are they just like randomly censoring half the fucken shit you say? ::Laura Layne:: Here is your winner.... Morrigan! ::Jim:: Laughing hysterically yes...yes they are.... ::Brian Zenn:: I'm -Beep- not gonna -Beep- anymore. ::Laura Layne:: Benjamin.... Do you have a selection for your next title match opponent? ::Peter:: whoa... what's going on here... Does he know who he wants already? ::Morrigan:: I can have ANYONE....off of ANY ROSTER right? ::Laura:: That is correct... ::Morrigan:: Adrain Angel will be my next opponent for the North American Title... In a Match of Alex Caine's choice, with my only request that if I win... He stop trying to take this belt from me and Accept that I'm one of the greatest EWA has, and will ever see. ::Peter Piper:: A-a-a-a-adrian Angel?? Holy Shit! [Back to ~Rez~]